CCLP Blog

To be a student of life means accepting who we are, and what our place is in the world.  I think it’s hard to know what our place is since life is ever evolving, but I do know that some of the best lessons come from our elderly and children.  You have the wisdom of life to draw on from family such as grandparents.  Children sometimes teach us the joy and spontaneity of life.  Both combined teach us to treasure every moment as if it were our last.  Life is made up of those special moments and we should create them whenever we can and as often as we can.  As the saying goes, “don’t sweat the small stuff.”

I watch.  I listen- sometimes a bit voyeuristic while sitting having coffee.  So many people to observe in this life. So many observations that have the potential to change our opinions of how we view each other, humanity and society.  The line between reality has become blurred over the past decade.  Just look at any fashion magazine today.  You’ll see a perfect image.  Perfection- do we hunger for the construct?  I think we do.   I  watch people every day.  I observe their actions.  Actions always speak loudest.  Wonder what someone really thinks about you?  Look at their actions.

Sad people, happy people, content people- we are all people who  hide what we are really feeling to protect and preserve the self.  And I can say I’ve noticed one thing in particular.  We’re always searching and waiting on something or someone.  We spend half our life waiting or searching, yet in the end it is up to us to take care of what we need and find the strength to create new possibilities.

I recently spent some time on a homework project I wanted to share- how many faces do we have in a lifetime depending on the situation?  I had fun creating different characters to illustrate how different we can be from day to day.  Hope you enjoy!

This past weekend was spent with family in Houston celebrating the 88th birthday of my Grandmother.  Naturally, my camera bag travels with me for the momentous occasion and also because I haven’t had a chance to see one of my dearest cousins in a few Thanksgivings.

Time passes all to quickly the older I find myself getting.  Each year makes the joy and pain of life more poignant.  “I’m so busy…. next weekend,” we find ourselves often saying.   Then it’s “next month” and before we know it, the holidays are past and a new year has come again.  I have to remind myself from time to time of what’s really important in my life- family and the family I choose.  If I think about it, what else is there?  What truly makes me happy?  Spending time with those I love.  Everything else is just a distraction.

My cousin has a beautiful family, and an exceptionally energetic little girl who captured my heart.  She was Little Miss Giggles for hours with her smiling eyes.  Perhaps one day I’ll be blessed with a sweet little bundle of joy of my own!  Until then, I’ll have to be content being a “spoiling Auntie” and capturing those precious moments as she grows up and showing her pictures of her amazing Great-grandmother.

Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother

Small Angel

Explorer of the World

Curiosity of a Child

Loved

It’s almost springtime in ATX!  The long awaited Vernal equinox which brings us the cool spring mornings, and balmy spring evenings.  The grass transforms to a soft carpet under toes kept in winter socks far too long, and the flowers begin to brighten our day as each day brings a new bloom.  Best of all?  Springtime portraits of our loved ones, amazing Texas wild flowers, spring thunderstorms with beautiful rainbows and the opening of the pool (not complete without a rubber ducky)!

This morning was such a morning- the smell of spring rain was an exquisite and intoxicating smell.  If I were to imagine what hope might smell like, it would be the smell of an early morning spring rain in Austin, Texas.

Sweet Buttercup

Bluebonnets and Lady Bugs

Creepy Crawlies

Springtime Thunderstorms in ATX

My Rubber Ducky

Portrait of a Loved One

When you lose, don’t loose the lesson.

Sometimes the need to feel wanted, validated, accepted- indeed even loved overwhelms and compels us even to ignore the warning signs that might otherwise be, well, obvious.  Actions always speak louder than words, and recently I’ve found that even the most innocent of remarks can be taken literally for the worst and I have communicated something I am completely unaware of to someone resulting in an epic FAIL.  Even if on a subconscious level I find myself questioning my very humanity.  Was that what I really meant?  Am I that shallow or naive?  Inevitably, yes- perhaps- maybe… I hope not.

Only we know our hearts, and it is the darkness that lies within that is perhaps the most frightening aspect of who we are.

Accepting who we are at a primal level, then forgiving the darkness that rears it’s head is truly the only way to forgive yourself thereby allowing others (indeed asking them to forgive you).   Humanity is programmed to self-preserve.  I have believed this for a long time.  That self-perseverance is our greatest asset and it can be the darkness we don’t consciously acknowledge until someone points out to us an injustice we have committed, pain that we cause- be it our own naivete or simple ignorance.  The key is acknowledgment, forgiveness, and making sure the lesson learned makes you a better person.  There can only be two paths for humanity, whatever your personal beliefs, the path to enlightenment and the path to self indulgence and the darkness perseveres in the latter.  So the question I ask myself, is do I acknowledge this darkness and move toward enlightenment and forgiveness of myself or bury it deep within the depths .

I have learned that if I can’t forgive me, then certainly I cannot ask anyone to forgive my trespass.  True charity is love, and love on all the levels we experience (physical, mental and in friendship- love helps us maintain the path toward enlightenment.  Whatever that love is, love is joy and keeps us honest.

So here’s to you my Apple, my darkness.  I am you and you are me, and today that’s just not a pretty picture.

The Apple of Darkness Within

invisible [ɪnˈvɪzəb^əl]

adj

1. not visible; not able to be perceived by the eye invisible rays

2. concealed from sight; hidden

3. not easily seen or noticed invisible mending

4. kept hidden from public view; secret; clandestine

Recently I was in Los Angeles for a week for business.  Every time I am there, the homeless population always amazes me because it is so vastly different from Austin.  In L.A., you see people walk past you who look as though they have not seen a hot meal, had a warm bath, much less a pair of shoes that could protect their feet from the abuse being homeless tolls them everyday.  The first night there, it was late and my colleague and I walked a few blocks from our hotel to a trendy restaurant.  As we passed a recessed shop, I noticed we passed a poor soul sleeping on the cold concrete.  All he had was a very old tattered sleeping bag to keep him warm that night- his belongings were zipped up in a plastic bag.  All he possessed fit in a 2×2 zipped up bag…

How many other people had passed this soul sleeping day in and day out?  I couldn’t help but wonder how life had reached a point for him that life was merely a concrete bed in cold down town L.A.  I wanted to sit down and ask him his story, but I did not.  I was frightened by all of the dreadful scenarios my imagination created which never ended well for me.  So, I walked on- but my heart couldn’t ignore him.  I couldn’t make him invisible in my mind’s eye.

Lost, but Loved by Someone

Being Seen

Nightlife in LA

Sometimes it’s important to share the love you have for your significant other.   I’ve been married for a little over 6 years now, and tonight for fun my husband and I sat in the studio and took our portraits “just because.”  Sometimes that’s the only reason you need!  We haven’t done that since we were married!    I encourage you to take the time out of your busy schedule to schedule a couples photo session.  You’ll be glad you did.

Beloved

For Always

Love, like beauty, has so many meanings for so many people from platonic relationships, adoring relationships to the unconditional love a mother has for her own child.  Perhaps there can be no greater depth of love than that of mother to child having carried the child and nurtured her precious baby to birth.  I cannot even begin to imagine the joy of being a mother.   Such beauty is within us to sacrifice so much of our personal time, in fact our entire life- to raise a child.  I can only imagine the return would be unmeasurable.

One of my FB friends posted the following blog, and I felt the need to share- love comes in so many flavors and they are all beautiful.  Ugly truly  is only a state of mind.  http://starvingartistink.com/the-shape-of-a-mother/

My Beautiful Mother

I went to Imaging USA in San Antonio this month to attend seminars and to see the all the gear a Photog could ever need or want.  In fact, I probably wanted it all it was so amazing!  But I came away with something far more important than a “thing” (even if I did succumb to a couple of Vendor goodies).

Our relationships and experiences with old and new friends are what make us who we are every single day.  I met some incredible people in San Antonio: Vendors who were very passionate about their product, vendors who were not quite so eager to help no matter how long I stood waiting in line for them to tell me how particularly wonderful their swag was, Bartenders who were seriously cool, and I made new friends and found an inspiring Mentor who taught me “there is no wrong work” – all in the span of a very sleepless 3 days!

I attended some fantastic workshops, and I was inspired by guest Photographers who simply reminded us all to be more passionate about the photos we take.  The portraits we create are a memory that someone will hold close to their heart forever!   There was one class in particular that had me crying like a little girl:  Rediscovering the Family Portrait: Technique & Inspiration by David Williams, M. Photographer II.

I wonder if anyone eyes were dry in the audience.  After the first 5 minutes of him speaking,  he told us of a story of a son who had lost his father to terminal illness.  The son had no photograph of himself with his father!   So he took a framed photo of his dad,  held it close to his heart and had a photo made of himself with his dad.

All I could think about was how both of my own grandfathers had slipped away in a sterile hospital before my eyes- frail and struggling to the last breath a few years ago.  I mourned their deaths in that auditorium all over again, and I mourned the fact that I didn’t take more time away from work to go see my Grandpa Mac  when he was healthy.  How many photos had I missed of Grandpa?  It was as if someone had told me I had failed the simplest of tests.   David reminded us that as professional photographers “We are keepers of the Spirit, therefore a request to take a photograph is an act of love.”  Toward the end of the seminar, David shared with us Madison Davenport’s Kodak Commercial from 2005.  The theme?   Keep me, protect me, share me – and I will live forever.  I encourage you to watch the YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2Bpg2CBams

As I drove home after Imaging was over, my mind kept going over what David said, and it became even more poignant as I listed to Moby’s “Slipping Away”.  How many moments have I missed to take someone’s photograph?

One of my most dear and best friends lives in San Antonio, and I wasn’t able to see her while I was there for Imaging.  I only have one photo of us together.  Is it the best photo ever taken?  No.  And you might say it’s silly, but it is priceless and I keep it close to my heart.  So I will leave you with these thoughts:  Next time someone wants to take your picture, smile inside and know that You are loved and treasured.  Don’t shy away from a request of love.

A view into Imaging USA, San Antonio, Texas 2011 via Animoto:  http://animoto.com/play/lGa1OLcgYuAlnOVA0j7H2w#

Photos from Imaging USA San Antonio, Texas 2011

Bleeding Blue!

New Friends

New Friend and Mentor

Old Friends

Moby:  Slipping Away

Focus on everything better today
All that I needed I never could say
Hold on to people, they’re slipping away
Hold on to this while it’s slipping away

Hold on to people. They're slipping away.

I love workshops especially when they’re big production Halloween shoots.  Halloween 2010 was no exception to absolutely fabulous workshops.  I got the chance to shoot with very talented young ladies, and meet outstanding makeup artists.  What is more fun than dressing up in fabulous costumes in outrageous makeup?!  Only one thing of course- directing to get an amazing shot!  This year’s theme was a fab spin on the Holidays.  Enjoy!

Miss Happy Holidays

Miss Be My Valentine

Miss St. Paddy’s Day

Miss Fourth of July

Miss Dia de los Muertos